A grey mist lies over the river, winding across moist meadows and flat inhabited lowland. Seagulls and crows rent the silent air with lonely screams fading into the fog. It was here I saw her hovering, a strange goddess over the river, and yet our first meeting was in a dream….
I’m living in an apartment in the southern part of Calcutta. Far below me among squatted huts, taped like mushrooms against the basement of the high building, lies a small Kali temple, wherefrom drums and singing rise to my balcony on the seventh floor. I look out over a lake where clouds of cormorants are resting on the naked trees, with huge black wings they circle over the water against the red evening sky as a foreboding omen of fate.
I’m to visit a couple and their little girl with light curly hair. I have left the building where I live and I am walking along the road, when suddenly I find myself in a laboratory where h.i.v. tests are done. I’m to urinate into a rectangular container with three sections. If the central part show highest level, it indicates that one is infected. But in my case it is the left section, which rises and grows out over its brim, and simultaneously the urine freezes and turns into ice chocolate, rising like a pillar, continuing to grow while I pee.
The laboratory disappears, I’m no longer in Calcutta, but somewhere in a big European town, the room turns into a place where cocaine is being distillated. Suddenly the space is invaded by a huge police force, they are shooting wildly and many are killed. I’m thrown into a car and we escape with high speed chased by siren wailing cars, ours transform into a boat and we succeed to hide in a small hut. Later we enter a tall building where the elevator takes us into safety. But again we are discovered and surrounded by police breaking into our small room, bullets from the thundering guns hit walls and flesh with a sucking sound and I’m killed…
Waking up…. I find myself on a beach, lying in the arms of three women sitting gazing far out over the great ocean. They ask me what path I want to follow, if I want dharma or vipassana or one of the many other possibilities they suggest. None of them seems right, until they all with one voice says Mookambika Devi. I’m surprised, that they know her, so I smile back and say yes! In the very same moment I realise that they are the three Norns. Later I’m making love with one of them in a cave by the sea. Our interaction is wild and long as if it should last forever, I’m controlling myself and holding back the peak of the orgasm while we listen to the waves emotionally washing the shores. I ask her if I should let my semen flow, or continue to hold it back? She answers, that whatever I do is as it should be. Slowly I realise that it is my very own birth or rebirth I´m participating in.